Life After Roe Starts With You and Me
by Lindsey Hoyt
Fifteen minutes after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, I answered the first of many phone calls I knew would be pouring in. It was a woman who knew everything was about to change. Her voice was shaking as she told me, “I just found out I’m pregnant last night and I know that I have to make a decision right now. I’m so nervous.” This phone call I answered at Caring Solutions, a local organization that provides free medical and support services to men and women experiencing unplanned pregnancies, was just one of the dozens that were received across the state of Georgia by similar organizations. These organizations have long been supported and celebrated by churches. We cherish and are deeply grateful for these partnerships! But as we move forward in a post-Roe world, we are even more dependent on you to live out the kingdom of God here on earth.
Before saying more, it is important to acknowledge that there are MANY perspectives, even among believers, on the best way to help women with unwanted pregnancies. It is impossible for me to explore each of those perspectives, political or otherwise, in this space, so this is my limited contribution to the conversation and won’t attempt to be comprehensive. But I am confident in this: caring for those facing an unwanted pregnancy starts right here inside the church.
Abortion at Church
More than 50% of women who receive abortions identify themselves as Christians (source). Some studies estimate this number is closer to 70%. Women choose to have abortions for many reasons, but here are some of the most common (source):
Feeling financially, emotionally, or mentally unprepared
Feeling overwhelmed by caring for other children; 60% of women who seek abortion services already have at least one child (source)
Partner-related concerns (feeling unsupported or pressured by their partner)
Career or education-related concerns
The church of all places is equipped to meet these needs. The fact that many women regularly attend church and still see abortion as their only option because of obstacles related to finances, relationships, childcare, and employment is, frankly, devastating. In order to be effective and welcome helpers, now more than ever, we must be prepared to love actively, abundantly, and sacrificially. The type of love we’ve been given through Christ. And by “we,” I don’t just mean the church. I mean you and me. Here are a few tangible ways to do this, even before a pregnancy occurs.
1. Actively engage in community…and everything that comes with it.
Knowing the needs of those around you is only possible if you are available and invested in their lives. For the vast majority of us, involvement on Sunday mornings (even regular involvement) will not lead to the deep, life-on-life relationships that need to be in place for us to know what’s really going on in each other’s lives. Plugging into a missional community is encouraged by New City for a reason. But even then, it will take effort outside of planned gatherings. It will take sacrifice. But it will be rewarding because we were created for community and we are not alone in our sacrifice (more on that in my other blog post).
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:1-8)
2. Use ALL your resources abundantly and sacrificially.
When we are unsure of how to help, we often donate to organizations and trust them to do the rest. Financially supporting organizations is incredibly helpful; keep doing that. But I want to encourage you to creatively think through how you can use ALL your resources to engage others. This list is not exhaustive, by any means, but here’s what that could look like:
Make your home available
Finding housing is a huge struggle in Central Georgia, particularly for low-income moms. If you have a rental space, consider making it available for an expectant mom.
Get involved in providing foster care or supporting those who do. Check out Kaytlyn Cobb’s recent post, “Foster Care and the Gospel” for some excellent ways to do this.
Invest in adoptive families or become one yourself.
Have people in your home, even for something as simple as a game night…and not just the people you already know well. There is something special about bringing people into your space. Allowing people to see your everyday life gives them the freedom to share theirs.
Make your finances available
Donate to a life-affirming organization that is working to empower and equip men and women with unexpected pregnancies. There are multiple organizations here in Macon that provide medical services, material items, ongoing support, and adoption services. I won’t include my personal recommendations here, but if you are interested in hearing them, I’m happy to talk with you! If you are already supporting an organization or are looking into supporting one, I encourage you to ask them how they are adapting to meet the needs of expectant moms in this new season. Ask them for an Annual Report; do your due diligence to ensure you are supporting an organization that will steward your resources well.
Make your things available
Instead of selling your good-condition maternity and infant items or taking them to Goodwill, donate them to a Pregnancy Resource Center or a resource closet.
If you don’t have these kinds of items, reach out and ask what material items these organizations need. Diapers. Car seats. Clothing. Gift cards. Gas cards.
Make your skills available
Are you a mechanic? Handyman? HVAC technician? GED tutor? Babysitter? Career coach? Meal prepper? Homemaker? Not only are these examples of skills needed by those experiencing unplanned pregnancies, but these are also all great avenues for relationship-building. Use your skills to meet someone’s physical needs and get to know them while you’re doing it.
Make your time available
Commit to praying for those who are impacted by the overturning of Roe v Wade. We serve a God who is good and generous and who listens. He holds the hearts of kings and he notices when a hair falls from our heads.
Encourage the staff and volunteers of organizations that are working to support moms and families. Life-affirming organizations are not only receiving an influx of requests for help from those who are increasingly panicked, but they are receiving threats of vandalism, damage, and even personal threats against their families. Write them a note of appreciation or ask what they need.
When the people you are building relationships with ask you to attend things, go. Showing up in little ways leads to showing up for the big things.
Make your friendship available
Make a point of seeking others out at church with the intention of building friendships. New City already puts this into practice each and every week, but opportunities for relationships will always be greater than the Connect Team manpower. Invite people to lunch. Invite them to MC and be prepared to welcome them well when they come. Follow up after your first encounter and talk to them again.
3. Cultivate a culture of grace.
Vulnerability is risky and expensive. When someone chooses to be vulnerable, that moment cannot be taken back. We often calculate when it is safe to be vulnerable with others by watching how they treat others who are vulnerable. It is possible to engage in community and to still be disconnected from the needs of others because community is hard. It is painful and many have experienced deep hurt from Christian communities. Shame is something commonly connected to church communities; we must be intentional in cultivating a culture of grace instead.
I processed and prayed through many different examples of how to do this tangibly, but I kept landing here - make it a practice to confess your sin with other believers. Not for the sake of “good Christian living” or to create a false sense of safety for others. Hidden confession feeds pride, and pride feeds shame. Confess in community (Galatians 6:2, James 5:16, Proverbs 28:13). Confess because God is compassionate and gracious and has not left us alone in a broken world. He has given us a family to bear our burdens. Where there is repentance, there is healing and forgiveness. Confess because those who are forgiven much, love much (Luke 7:47). When we confess our sins together, we declare and celebrate the grace we’ve been given through Jesus. In return, our hope is rightly centered on the sufficiency of Jesus and we show grace to others.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:10-14)
So, church, the mission is before us. It has not changed, but I hope that our urgency will be redoubled. As you go, believer, the kingdom of God is revealed. Make it count.