All I Have Needed

by Nick Cooper

Remember when you were a teenager? Back when all you worried about was homework, tests, and whether or not the person you liked might just like you back. For me, it was also a time when the Lord captured my heart and set me on a path towards a dream of becoming a youth pastor.  

For years and years, I prayed, wondering if and when my dream was going to become a reality. Maybe you’re like me and you have doubted God and whether or not He actually heard those prayers.  How could a loving God call me to something, then wait so long to deliver on that promise?  I think we all live in a culture that just expects things right here and right now— we long to have every dream and wish, every prayer heard and worked out for our good, and in our time.

After all, doesn’t Scripture tell us that God works all things together for our good? For me, it took almost 16 years for God to give me a dream, hear my prayers, and then allow me to serve in ministry as a youth pastor.  But what you didn’t see would have been all the times I tried doing things in my own strength. All the times that I tried to take a shortcut, or maybe force my way into a position where I felt and believed that I was ready. I was living like I was entitled to the outcome I hoped for.

As Christ-followers, we are being conformed to the image of Christ. We are called to follow Him and to work and serve, doing all things out of the abundance of grace and love that He has shown us. But when our work and serving begin to define us, rather than who God has made us in Christ; or when our work and serving is just our way to take hold of what we feel we deserve, we need to have a heart check. So when I took over as the youth director here at New City, I came in with excitement and wonder…excited to see how God would move and work within the ministry.  My heart was full — God had heard my prayers and had responded.

Months began to pass by and life began to hit harder and harder. My full-time job became more demanding, the stresses of life began to drain my energy, and things of this world began taking my focus off of the main thing. I was working and serving, but I was lacking in my time with Jesus, and my faith and spiritual life were taking a hit.  One thing we can count on in this world is that Satan will use the things in our lives to distract us from the truth of the Gospel. 

It was a few weeks ago when I was sitting in my home working, staring at the 3 computer screens in front of me, answering the phone, reading texts on my iPhone, and trying to juggle seemingly limitless numbers of things; it was in that moment that I realized that something had to change. That moment was evidence of God’s grace to me. At that moment God’s Spirit humbled me and made me realize that I needed to return to Him. To Christ alone.

Many of us suffer from pride and don’t realize it. I know I didn’t. But it was my pride that had allowed me to continue on for so long without seeing my limitations. It was pride that had made me stressed and frustrated all the time, thinking that I could control things and time—that I was in control. The truth is, it’s not about us. It’s not about us being in control, because it is God that holds all things together—He is sovereign and good. You may be saying to yourself, “I’m not prideful. There is nothing wrong with me”.  I said these same things to God—but when I looked deep into my heart, I saw my brokenness and need for Christ and Christ alone. 

In James 4:5-7 we read:

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says “God opposes the proud but give grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. 

So what do we do when we see our brokenness and pride? We humble ourselves. We remember the truths of who God is, what He has done, and who He has made us in Christ.  Submit yourself to Him.  We don’t live and work and serve to gain status or standing or to earn salvation or righteousness. Those things are imparted to us when we repent and believe. In our moment of humble repentance, we are shown mercy and grace because that is who He is.

For me, humbling myself meant stepping down from serving as the Youth Director.  A prayer 16 years in the making was answered, yet I felt the next step of obedience was to give it up less than a year later. I believe that God does this a lot in our lives. He sees us, He hears us, and He responds. Sometimes He gives us the good gifts we ask for, and other times He gives us things that are best for us that we don’t yet understand. While God gives good things, we have to be careful not to mistake the gift for the Giver. God’s gracious gifts must always turn our hearts and affections back to Him. God must be glorified.  

I believe that God also calls us sometimes to determine what we value more— His gifts, or God himself. Do we love the creation or the Creator?  When we begin to turn our hearts and eyes away from God—when we begin to drift slowly in our walk with Him, sometimes we just need to remember this truth:

“Great is thy faithfulness! Morning by Morning new mercies I see; all I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!”

These words have proved comforting to me during this time. All I have needed, God has provided because He is great and faithful, He is the Lord. He is constant and never changing. I pray that to whoever reads this, whether you are praying and waiting for an answer to your request; or maybe you got the answer and then God called you to give up on the dream or the prayer.

He isn’t concerned with all the things I do for Him. He just wants me to love Him and to seek His face. I don’t need job titles, good works, or anything else. I just need Jesus — He is all I have needed.