What Kids Need in a Pandemic

We are six months into a pandemic here in Macon, GA. Six months ago, schools closed, and we were told to shelter in place to slow the spread of the virus. Here we are now, still wearing masks, social distancing, and generally avoiding unnecessary exposure to the public. 

This isn’t a blog about those measures and whether they worked or whether people did it right. It’s not about government overreach or conspiracy theories. It’s not even really about the virus. If the title didn’t give it away, I want to talk about our children and what they need in a pandemic. 

There’s no question that life as we know it has changed dramatically. The changes and isolation that have come from the pandemic have been extremely difficult, to say the least. Even now, six months in, our little ones are still trying to process the way their world has changed. Overnight, schools and churches closed. Our kids were told they couldn’t play with their friends, indefinitely. Many even couldn’t visit grandparents. That was a lot, and we are still experiencing some of it. If adults are struggling, then our kids most certainly are, even if they aren’t able to verbalize it.

It shows up in acting out, defiance, drastic mood swings, uncontrolled emotions, to name a few. I have seen it in my own children. It can be easy for me to be impatient with them and lose my temper. I can forget that they are still figuring out how to deal with the many changes life has brought this year.

When we see our kids struggling, I think it’s often our tendency to look at the environment and figure out what needs to change. For example, get a routine in place, so kids know what to expect. Eliminate whatever seems to trigger an outburst. Make bedtime earlier just in case they’re not getting enough sleep. Give rewards for good behavior, or consequences for bad. We can be very concerned with behavior, and forget that they are little souls who are shaped largely by us, their parents. 

Can our kids benefit from a routine and more sleep? Of course! Are rewards and consequences sometimes appropriate? Absolutely. But what our kids need in a pandemic, when so much that was familiar and happy has been taken away, is patience, compassion, and most of all, Jesus. 

Patience and compassion can be challenging. We are all tired, and when our kids seem determined to oppose us in every way, we often don’t respond correctly. But we are called to show them the same love God has shown us through Christ. He is patient with us, even though we fail to trust Him again and again. He is compassionate toward us, understanding our suffering and concerned for our well-being. If we really try, take a moment and some deep breaths, we can show patience and compassion to our children, even in the most difficult moments, when those feelings might not come easily.

But we fall short if we don’t give them Jesus. 

Our kids need to understand that viruses, sickness and death are a result of sin, but that God has always had a plan to save and redeem us from our sin.

They need to hear us saying that God is in control of everything and can use the worst circumstances for good. Jesus’ death was the most horrible moment in history, but it was part of God’s plan to save us.

They need to see us fighting to trust in God’s good plan, even when we don’t understand and when everything seems hard. 

They need to know that our suffering is an opportunity to deepen our faith in Jesus. 

They need to hear that one day, Jesus will return, wipe away all our tears and sadness, and it will be the best day ever!

And we must show them that good things in life will come and go – we have no idea what tomorrow holds – but Jesus remains steadfast and trustworthy. We will experience loss throughout our lives, but we can never lose the love of God through our amazing savior, Jesus. 

I don’t mean that you as a parent always have to be perfect and respond perfectly. That’s impossible, and there is something beautiful about allowing our children to see us repent. But we must remember- the gospel is good news for our children too. So, mom and dad, press into the gospel as you lead your children, and, by God’s grace, they will follow where you lead. 

We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,    
and the wonders that he has done.

Psalm 78:4