I Forgive You
by Keith Watson
They were great friends, it would seem. They had experienced so much together - good times, difficult days, laughter, joy, hardship, suffering, sadness and tears. They had traveled together, depended on one another. Together they stood up against angry unbelieving mobs who wanted to kill them, even against brothers who were corrupting the beautiful gospel with self-righteous works. They were together.
Then they were not.
39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they (Paul and Barnabas) separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. Acts 15
They loved Jesus, they loved people, they loved one another, and still a “sharp disagreement” led them to go their separate ways. These giants of the faith fought and divided over a disagreement.
Disagreements, fighting, and even division among friends is one of life’s sad norms. We are broken, fallen people. This was the topic of Sunday’s sermon from our look at Acts 15:36-16:5.
We know from the rest of the New Testament that at some point Paul and Barnabas would reconcile as would Paul and John Mark. They would come together to work in the Kingdom again. Paul would commend them to the churches in Colossians 4:10 and Philemon 1:24. Beautifully, in Paul’s last days he would ask to see John Mark one more time before his death, telling Timothy that John Mark had served with him so well (II Timothy 4:11). We don’t know who was “right” and who was “wrong” in the argument, but we can see true reconciliation took place, and you cannot have that sort of reconciliation without forgiveness.
Forgiveness is hard.
And what the Bible has to say about forgiveness is hard.
Forgiveness is essentially the canceling of a debt. When we have been “wronged” by someone there is a loss. We hurt over the wrong. We may lose sleep, or friends, or reputation. These are genuine losses and the greater the wrong, the greater our loss. Forgiveness means that the debt that the wrong doer owes us for our loss is canceled. We cancel it without recompense. We simply decide, “You owe me nothing, the slate is wiped clean.”
This is difficult because it feels so unfair. It is difficult because our sense of justice says that they should have to suffer at least as much as I have suffered. Forgiveness is hard because when we forgive, we free our wrongdoer of their equal suffering, and we are left with our suffering.
Yet this is exactly what we see in Jesus. Jesus’ forgiveness of us is exactly this, he frees us from our suffering by suffering greatly for our wrongdoing, our sin. When we trust in his work for us, then our slate is wiped clean. We owe nothing. Our sins do not disappear and justice is not ignored. It is that Jesus bears all of the suffering and all of the loss that should have been ours.
This, the apostle Paul would write to the Ephesians, is the same way that we should treat one another.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 5:30-32)
Rather than being filled with bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander, and malice toward our wrongdoer, like Jesus we should be kind to them, acting in a tenderhearted way, forgiving them just as God has forgiven us in Christ Jesus.
“I forgive you,” means that I am willing to do all of the suffering and release you from yours. It means that the slate is wiped clean. You owe me nothing. I will not hold this over you. I will not bring it up as a weapon against you. It is finished. These may truly be 3 of the hardest words to say and mean.
Forgiving is hard.
Yet it is not only a mark of Jesus, it is to be a mark of his people, forgiving as he has forgiven us.
So many questions – What do we do when we have been wronged?
What should we do if we have wronged someone else?
Do we forgive even when a person refuses to accept responsibility?
Am I expected to forget when I forgive?
Does forgiving mean I should put myself in harms way or back in an abusive relationship?
I want to share some helpful resources for those questions and more!
Don’t stop reading here.
I want you to read more, to pray more, to wrestle with the radical truth of how much you have been forgiven and how that means you and I should should forgive. I want us to ponder what it means to be kind and tenderhearted. I want us to think about what it means to be merciful as he has been merciful to us, to show grace as grace has been shown to us. I want us to dwell deeply on what it looks like to love even your enemy and how we see that in the story of the Good Samaritan.
In this, I want us both to learn what it means to forgive as we have been forgiven.
Tim Keller: Serving Each Other Through Forgiveness and Reconciliation via Capitol Pres
John Piper: Can You Forgive Those Who Do Not Repent? via Desiring God
Sam Storms: Forgiveness, What it is, What it is not via Sam Storms
My Sermon: Can’t We All Just Get Along? via New City Church
