But What if I’m Sick?
by Amanda Christopher
I have been relatively healthy my whole life. I credit good genetics, not necessarily good habits. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize good health is something I have taken for granted.
In May, I had a health scare when a small breast nodule popped up on an exam. In the weeks of waiting to hear that it was nothing to be concerned about, I had to confront assumptions I had made about my physical well-being and my associated beliefs about God and his character. You can read that blog post here.
Since that scare, I have had a rather ongoing struggle with anxiety about my health. That experience made me realize things really can change very quickly, even if that’s not what happened in May. For me this struggle has looked like overanalyzing every ache and pain, obsessing a bit over my weight, questioning why my health app says my heart rate has been up (spoiler alert- it’s because I was doing strenuous things), wondering if the amount of hair I’m losing is a lot or normal…you get the picture. It has a few times bordered on irrational and my thoughts felt out of control.
I thought maybe I was crazy until I opened up to a friend about it, and she responded, “Me too!” So maybe more people struggle with these feelings than I think, and maybe talking about how the gospel applies to these anxious thoughts will be helpful.
There are two important truths to remember when we think about our bodily health: 1) Good health is not a guarantee, and 2) Good health is not our source of hope.
Good health is not a guarantee.
There is a “gospel” out there that says if you just have enough faith, you will be well, and not just physically - in all things. Put your faith in Jesus and he will make you healthy, wealthy, happy, and wise. This is not the gospel of Jesus and the bible. Did Jesus heal people? Yes. Are people still miraculously healed today? I believe so. But good physical health is not a guaranteed result of a relationship with Jesus.
Consider Paul and the “thorn” in his flesh, which is believed to have been a physical ailment. He pled with God to remove it three times, and God’s response to him was this: “’My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”
Paul goes on to say this: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (1 Cor. 12:9-10)
Paul does not presume upon God to grant him good health and an easy life. He understands that suffering will come, and that in our suffering, the grace of his Savior is sufficient, and the power of his Lord is perfected. We should understand the same.
Good health is not our source of hope.
A verse you will often hear quoted is another of Paul’s: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13) You will usually hear it as a celebration of some accomplishment- graduation, a new job, reaching a weight loss goal, or something like that. Your experience may be different, but I rarely hear it in the same context as Paul says it. Here it is again with the verse that comes before it: “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13-14)
With that context and what we know of Paul from 1 Corinthians, I think Paul’s words “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” could also be used like this:
I can endure chronic pain through Christ who strengthens me.
I can have peace through the uncertainty of blood tests, biopsies, CT scans and other diagnostic tests through Christ who strengthens me.
I can fight cancer through Christ who strengthens me.
I can manage the inconveniences and difficulties of a lifelong diagnosis through Christ who strengthens me.
I can accept a terminal diagnosis in faith through Christ who strengthens me.
All of this is possible, only possible, because of the hope we have in Christ. As believers, we understand that this world is not our home, that these bodies are broken by sin, and that restoration is coming. That means that the suffering we face in this life are indeed momentary as we look forward to an eternity with Jesus.
But looking forward to eternity and the end of present physical suffering doesn’t mean there is nothing in this life to be gained through our health battles. God is not just concerned with who we will be in eternity. He is working in us now to shape us more into the image of Jesus, and he uses our bodily failings to do that. When we put our hope in Christ, we can face heath issues like Paul: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
God also uses our suffering as a means of mission. When we face suffering in a way that demands an other-worldly explanation, we are given opportunities to share the gospel and the hope we have in Christ. What grace that even in our brokenness, God includes us in the work of redemption He is doing in the world!
So as I consider my own health, the cure to the anxiety I often experience is not to tell myself I’m fine and I’m just being paranoid. The situation in May proved to me that even if I am “fine,” that can change in a moment. The answer to my anxious thoughts is to remember the gospel. My health, and my whole life, are in the hands of a good, gracious, and purposeful God who is always with me and who will not allow my suffering to be wasted.