Yes, God is Sovereign, but is He Good?
by Joy Walter
“Yes, God is sovereign, but is He good?” Letting my mouth say what my heart felt seemed like heresy. After so many years of walking with the Lord, could I even ask such a question? But as wave after wave crashed over those I loved, I had real and hard questions. Six months prior, my three-year-old daughter learned about death too early when her best friend went to be with Jesus. Since that dreadful day, those within our missional community had experienced so much loss and heartache—miscarriage, surgeries gone south, drug relapse, a stillborn birth, and sudden death of loved ones. Where was God in all of this pain? I just couldn’t make sense of it. If God in His sovereignty had allowed all this suffering, how could He still be good? I wanted to trust Him. I wanted to believe that we were not alone, but were we?
In my questions, I turned to Isaiah 53 and read,
“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds, we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Is. 53:4-6)
I was encouraged by what Jesus did for us. If suffering is a result of this broken and fallen world, how beautiful that Jesus would step into that for us in order to bear our sins and reconcile us to the Father. Yet, even though I saw Jesus’ compassion, I struggled to see the Father’s as I read verse 10 and how it “pleased the LORD to bruise him.” (KJV) He found pleasure in crushing His own Son? What was I supposed to do with that?!
In the heart of our grief, we gathered as a family of missionary servants for a night of prayer and worship. In this state of raw emotions, as we brought our sacrifice of praise, the Holy Spirit met us there. As we meditated, I opened to Isaiah 54. As I prayed for the couple fighting infertility who had just buried their stillborn daughter, I read,
“’Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the LORD.” (Is. 54:1)
Continuing to read while praying for a newly widowed mother, I read,
“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name…” (Is. 54:4-5)
I sat in amazement that these two promises were in the same passage! The two life events that were currently bringing the most grief combined in the same chapter of Isaiah! Maybe, just maybe, we really weren’t alone. I completely broke as I continued reading,
“’For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,’ says the LORD, your Redeemer.” (Is. 54:7-8)
Something so real and lasting happened in that moment for me. I realized that we really were never alone and that the Father’s heart and Jesus’ heart are in fact one and the same. God, in the fullness of the Trinity, was with us. The Father loved us so much that He sent His Son, not in cruelty but in great love. Not for the ultimate purpose of crushing Him but rather restoring us. The Son emptying Himself became our Great High Priest able to sympathize with our weaknesses. (Heb. 4:14-16) Because of this sacrifice, the Holy Spirit now indwells those who believe, revealing the Father’s heart to us. In the moment, we may not always be able to see or understand. But, we have hope—confident expectation. He truly is working all things together for our good and His glory (Rom. 8:28)
Since that time, I have learned that it’s ok to ask hard questions. We don’t have to put on a fake smile and pretend like everything is ok when we feel like our world is falling apart. There is a depth to our spiritual journey when we can come to God with our confusion, hurt, anger, and unbelief. There will be seasons when your heart resounds with David’s in the Psalms, but in that place, allow the Holy Spirit to speak His truth to your heart. Allow the work of repentance to turn you again from misbelief to belief. He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. (Deut. 31:8) Even when it seems that all hope is lost, we have this confident expectation: He is coming back! He is coming back to make the wrong things right. My daughter made the comment the other day that few things in life have 100% guarantee, but one thing is certain: “Jesus is coming back!”
As our MC is faced with a series of trials yet again—stage 4 cancer, a premature birth, a complicated pregnancy, childhood illness, a debilitating injury—I have to once again remind myself that He is good. We are not alone. As David reminds us in Psalm 34:18, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” We can also remind each other that one day all that has been wrong will be made right.
“Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” (1 Thes. 4:17-18)