The Lie of Loneliness

Loneliness is a weird thing. I think because it sneaks up on you when you’re preoccupied with other things. And it’s usually the by-product of other struggles and insecurities. We are stressed, anxious, grieving, depressed, feeling like a failure, and we think we are the only ones who feel that way, and if we tell anyone about our deepest struggles, they will think badly of us, or run from us. So we keep it to ourselves. And we sink deeper into our worries and fears. And we believe the lie that we are alone. 

I’m probably one of the last people that others would think this of, but I have struggled with feeling alone for a lot of the last several years. At least some of it for me has been motherhood- spending so much of my days with little people, feeling like a terrible mom, wife, or friend at times, being physically exhausted, spiritually drained, and feeling socially isolated.

My fleshly tendency is to stay there. The last thing I want to do is admit weakness or vulnerability. My sinful pride would keep me from being honest about this struggle, from pursuing meaningful relationships with other women who may feel the same, from allowing anyone into my brokenness. My selfishness would cause me to desire convenience and ease over the sacrifice and effort of close friendships.

But here’s the truth: If you are a believer, because the Father turned his face from his Son in his dying moments, because Jesus was utterly alone as he took his last breath, your Father will never turn his face from you. Even if you feel lonely, you are NEVER alone.

One of the last things Jesus said before ascending into heaven was, “I am with you always.” And because he took on flesh and was tempted as we are, he knows our struggles. He has stepped into our weakness. He is not surprised or disgusted by the person we try to hide from others. In fact, he died to remove our shame and guilt, and to give us his righteousness.  

My sin and my struggles are not my identity. My identity is rooted in who Christ is and what He has done. This means I don’t have to fear letting others into my ugliness.  We were not created for loneliness. From the very beginning, God saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. His plan for humanity has always been for us to be in relationship with Him and with others. 

So if you’re feeling lonely - take it from me - you are not the only one. 

But hear this - really HEAR this - it’s not true. 

You have a Savior who loves you and stands ready for you to run to him. 

And if you are in Christ, you are a member of the family of God. 

And because the Holy Spirit has sealed us, nothing can make those things untrue. 

Remember the gospel. Remember who Jesus is, what he has done, and who you are in Him. And remember that He is with you always.