Repenting from the Root
by Lindsey Hoyt
I grew up in church and my least favorite part of every Sunday morning service was the confession portion. I didn’t know what to do. Sure, I’d done some bad things that week. I was mean to my sister on the way to church (she deserved it). I cheated on my homework the other day (homeschoolers have prime access to cheating opportunities, FYI). I didn’t want God to be disappointed in me, so I would tell God I was sorry for doing those things. But the next Sunday, I would repent of the same things. Little actually changed.
As I’ve grown older and my relationship with Jesus has deepened, my awareness of and grief over my sin has grown. But really, my repentance prayers aren’t that much different. I ask God to forgive and change my behaviors - but my behaviors often remain unchanged because my heart is holding onto a false gospel. Like the Apostle Paul writes, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Romans 7:18-19).
At New City, we talk a lot about belief vs. knowledge. We may possess knowledge of the true gospel or of God’s character, but the things we really believe are evident in the way we live our everyday lives. If I know in my head that God loves me but I am still consumed with fear, bitterness, or anger, then that knowledge has not moved into my heart and transformed my beliefs. The way I live, my actions, emotions, and behaviors, are like dashboard lights in my car. They are telling me that something is wrong underneath. In other words, misbelief in God - a false gospel - is the root or source of sin.
I want to share a tool called Fruit to Root with you. It has helped me see my sin in a new way and expose some of the misbeliefs of my heart. Fruit to Root is a tool explored in the book Gospel Fluency by Jeff Vanderstelt. Here’s a quick glance:
Let’s look at each piece a little closer, then we’ll walk through an example of what this might look like in our everyday lives.
Step 1: Identify bad fruit.
Examine your day-to-day life. The behaviors and attitudes that characterize you are indicators of the gospel-health of your heart. Do the fruits of your life match the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control)? Or are there some others? Worry. Impatience. Pride. Criticism. Fear.
Step 2: Recognize misbelief.
Our behaviors and attitudes reflect what we believe at our core - in our hearts. If we display impatience or fear, that points to how we view God and ourselves. What do the fruits of your life say you believe? When we believe lies about God, we also believe lies about ourselves.
Step 3: Repent.
Repentance is more than just apologizing for wrong behavior - behavior modification. Because of Jesus, we not only repent from sin, but to righteousness through faith. Gospel-centered repentance results in heart transformation. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). As our hearts are renewed and we are shaped into the image of Jesus by the Holy Spirit, we turn away from sin and we pursue holiness. If we skip the repentance step and jump right into doing good things, we are missing the gospel. On our own, good works are nothing more than dirty laundry (Isaiah 64:6).
Step 4: Look at who God really is.
We have been given the truth through Scripture. The Bible is God’s big story about who he is, what he has done, who we are, and how we can live in light of that. We see God’s design for creation, the deadly impact of sin, redemption through Jesus, and the promise of restoration to God’s design. We all have experiences and beliefs distorted by sin that give us false ideas about God and ourselves. We have to go back to the source - God himself - to be reminded of the truth.
Step 5: Bear good fruit in light of the gospel.
This is not a checklist item! Lasting change can only flow from a heart that has been renewed through faith in Jesus. We’ve all been there, trying to make our actions match what we imagine a good Christian looks like. Willpower and discipline will never be enough to live a life that reflects what the gospel has done for us. In fact, it displays the opposite- that the gospel is not enough. Righteousness is a gift from God, by grace through faith. Believe the gospel and be changed by it.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)
Applying Fruit to Root
Now let’s look at this tool using an example. We are all familiar with disappointment. Our everyday lives are filled with disappointments, big and small. Your offer on a house was rejected. You invited a friend to church and, yet again, they didn’t come. You failed an important test by one point. Your child is sick, AGAIN and it feels like you’ve been stuck at home for weeks. If you’re like me, you may respond to disappointment by feeling like God has let you down. Here’s how we can apply Fruit to Root when we feel like God has let us down.
Bad Fruit - Resentment
God is holding out on me. He is withholding good things from me or he is letting bad things happen to me.
Underlying Misbeliefs:
God is not all-powerful. He is unable to protect me from bad things and he cannot make good things happen. I need to take control because God cannot or will not.
God is not good. He doesn't care if bad things happen to me or he does not want to give me good things. I am alone and unloved in my disappointment.
This is where we can get confused or concerned. Certainly, I don’t believe those things about God! That sounds like blasphemy! Well, it is. But the truth is that each and every one of us harbors misbeliefs and disbelief all the time. It’s because we are fallen, sinful, humans living in a fallen, sinful world. Even when we know what is true, our hearts are inclined to believe the lie. So even if you would never say you are believing these things, it takes recognizing that there are underlying unbeliefs to do anything about them. Which leads to the next life-giving, Christ-exalting, joy-producing step:
Repentance:
God, I am struggling to trust you because it feels like you let me down. I am afraid you do not have my best interests in mind, so I want to be in control instead of surrendering to your plans for me.
Thank you for your mercy and grace to undeserving people like me. Thank you for seeing my need for a Savior and providing so fully and completely in your Son. Help me believe the truth about who You are and what you have done in Christ.
Right Beliefs:
Jesus defeated sin, death, and Satan so that I could enter into community with God and other believers.
I am God’s child because Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection brought me into the family of God.
God is a loving, compassionate father who does not withhold good things from his children.
God is with me each and every day through the Holy Spirit, a gift that seals my relationship with God until Jesus comes again and all of creation is put back to right.
Good Fruit - Contentment
I am loved and provided for by my heavenly Father, even when circumstances are disappointing. I can rest knowing that God is in control and he is kind.
Dealing with our “rotten fruit” in this way takes practice. None of us naturally recognize these things on our own, and it takes work to unlearn old habits. But the Spirit is at work in His people, drawing us to Himself, teaching us the truth about God and His gospel, and meeting us in our weakness. So I want to encourage you to practice working through this kind of exercise with other believers. It may feel painful at first to find the places of disbelief in your heart, but the fruit on the other side of repentance is love, joy, peace, and so much more. It is God’s mercy that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4), and He is faithful and just to forgive (1 John 1:9).
To keep reading about Fruit to Root, here’s a blog post by Jeff Vandersteldt about paying attention to the overflow of our hearts: http://www.jeffvanderstelt.com/blog/listen-to-your-heart