Protecting our Children

by Amanda Christopher

Since January, I have been meeting with a group of local kids’ ministry leaders monthly. We are reading through a book together called Build on Jesus. If you are in kids’ ministry, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It has been incredibly practical and encouraging for all of us.

This month’s chapters covered keeping kids safe in our ministries. We talked about fire evacuation plans, lockdown procedures, secure check-in procedures, general building safety, and the difficult and disturbing topic of protecting kids from sexual predators.

It is a sad reality of this broken world we live in that we have to think about sexual predators at all, even more so within the church, but churches would be naïve not to. Churches often have a culture of family and trust that can create an ideal environment for a predator to manipulate to his or her advantage.

I don’t say any of this to make you paranoid, of course. Reading these chapters was difficult for me, but also encouraging. There are many good measures we already have in place, such as background checks, bathroom policies, and the fact that right now, I personally know everyone who serves with kids. We also have a small children’s area that doesn’t invite inappropriate activity.

But we won’t always have a small kids area, and as we grow, I won’t personally know volunteers like I do now. It became clear to me that we need to develop more in-depth screening procedures. We need to have written policies in place addressing how we will handle any accusations of abuse. (And pray we never have to use them!) We are and will continue doing the best we can to protect your kids.

There is a giant piece to this plan of protecting our kids though, and that is YOU, the parent.

It seems to me that it’s becoming harder and harder for parents to stay connected with the lives of their children. It’s not always easy to know what kids are seeing or experiencing at school. Kids spend more and more time on phones (this is mainly teens but doesn’t exclude kids in the elementary age range!) instead of interacting with parents. Add to this the realities of the internet and how easy it is for kids to connect to strangers through social media, online gaming, etc, and it’s no wonder that we have seen issues like sex abuse and trafficking on the rise.

As the Children’s Director at New City Church, I’m going to do everything I can to protect your children when they are in our care. But I want to encourage you, as parents, to be proactive about this issue in two simple ways.

1.     As the primary discipler of your children, be as deeply invested and involved in their lives as you can. Make it your business to know all their business! This is easy when our kids are young but can become increasingly difficult as they grow and gain more independence. Begin investing now in a relationship of trust with your children so that they cannot be easily manipulated into keeping secrets from you.

2.     Teach your children about their bodies and appropriate boundaries from a young age. These conversations might seem weird or awkward at first. There is a great book I have used called God Made All of Me that can help you guide this conversation. Create an environment of openness and invite them to ask you questions so that as they grow, they come to you instead of friends or the internet. Don’t avoid conversations about sex, even if they make you uncomfortable. Instead, respond to your kids’ questions and natural curiosity with age-appropriate information.

Giving any thought to our children being exploited is sickening, I know. No parent wants to consider that possibility, but wisdom tells us we must. However, we also know that we have a good God who cares for our children. He is sovereign and their ultimate protector. We can make wise choices and plans to protect our children, and put our hope and trust in our gracious Father.

There are many resources available for having these conversations with your kids! I would love to share resources or help you think through how to talk with your kids about these things. If I can help, email me!