Our Eyes Are On You
by Amanda Christopher
One day in 2015, I was sitting in our front yard with my three-year-old daughter and one-year-old son. I remember it being a nice day and enjoying the weather with them. I remember Corey sitting on a blanket my husband Ben’s grandmother sewed and Ellison running around the yard as usual. I remember Ben pulling in the driveway, getting out of his car, and walking toward me. I remember knowing something was wrong by the expression on his face. I remember he had an envelope in his hand, and in that envelope, I learned, was the details of his severance agreement.
We had two small children, almost no other income, and my husband was going to lose his job. And I remember being at peace.
Even now, I am amazed at how the Holy Spirit was with me in that moment. I look back and can’t believe I didn’t panic. We weren’t entirely surprised because of some changes that had already taken place in the company, but it still felt surreal to us.
As we processed and planned our next steps, a verse that the Lord brought to my mind came from 2 Chronicles 20. In this chapter, three other kingdoms had gathered in battle against Judah. The armies of Judah were vastly outnumbered, and their king, Jehoshaphat prayed. His prayer begins,
“O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you.” (2 Chronicles 20:6)
He goes on to remember the ways that God has delivered His people. He confesses that God is their only hope, that He is faithful to hear and answer. He ends his prayer in verse 20 like this – “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
I honestly don’t know why I knew that verse so particularly at that time. I didn’t know the chapter or verse, but I knew that to be the confession of my own heart, “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
When I think back on that time, what I remember with the most gratitude isn’t that Ben got a new job fairly quickly, though that was a great gift from God. What I remember most dearly is that in a moment when my fleshly response would’ve been to panic and cry, the Holy Spirit kept me in peace.
That was 9 years ago. So much has happened since then, and I have had many opportunities to remember that time, and the peace the Lord gave me.
In 2016, we welcomed a foster baby into our home, and ten days later found out I was pregnant with our third baby. (The plan was to EITHER foster OR have another baby, NOT both!) A couple weeks before our baby was born, our foster baby moved to a family member’s home. He was wholly ours in our hearts but belonged to another family on paper. I was a wreck.
In 2018, while pregnant with our fourth baby, potential markers of some rather serious complications were found on my 20-week ultrasound. During the weeks of waiting for follow-up tests, my mind and emotions were all over the place. She was born healthy. You know her as Isla, our little firecracker.
In 2020, we endured COVID, lockdowns, uncertainties, and fears along with the rest of the world.
In 2021, both my parents ended up in the hospital with COVID, and my dad was ultimately on a ventilator for about a month. There were so many moments of doubt. So many questions, so much grief. He recovered, but those weeks were really, really hard.
In 2022, I had to have a breast biopsy. Thankfully, I did not have cancer, but if you’ve ever had to wait on serious test results like that, you know how difficult it can be.
Those are of course some of the more significant events in my life over the last nine years. There have been a million other anxieties, fears, questions, and unknowns. A million other opportunities for panic, and often, I have! But the common theme is that each time, the Lord has gently reminded me of that moment in my front yard, sitting in the grass, when I experienced a peace that made no sense. And in each of those times, He has given me that same peace. He has shown me that He himself is the God of Peace.
If you think God is indifferent toward your anxiety, He is not. Jesus came to give us peace (Jn 14:27). Isaiah 26:3 says “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
We will all experience situations where we don’t know what to do and are powerless.
All of us will be up against an impossible task, life event, situation, and we won’t know what to do. But we can fix our eyes on Him, the one who has been faithful time after time. I can look back on my life and see how he has been faithful, and I bet you could too. And because He is faithful, because He is good, trustworthy, kind, and sovereign, His children can experience true peace. Not just a surface-level appearance of calm, but deep, abiding spiritual peace.
Remember Jesus. Remember all that He has done to make peace possible for you. He gave up His own life to bring peace to His creation, to your life, and He wants you to truly experience it. Put your trust in Him.