Help Me Remember
by Nick Cooper
The day was December 15th, 2007 and I was just finishing up the first semester of my sophomore year of college. One Saturday morning I was at work when my life forever changed—I found myself having a stroke. I was twenty years old. Following this horrific and surprising event in my life, I spent that Christmas sleeping, my mind in a fog. Moments were happening and now appear only in flashes, not a single memory exists of what gifts were given or received that year, or even who was present at my grandparent’s house that year.
I often tell myself that this was the forgotten Christmas, a time in my life that extended even beyond just that month as I wrestled with the decision to have brain surgery that next April, or to let it go and hope my body healed on its own. Surgery meant more pain, more healing, and even more time that I would forget. I was present in body, but my mind was in a world of its own. Today, all of this time finds itself as part of God’s testimony in my life.
While I may not remember all that took place, I remember the big moments, I remember the way that God helped see me through it all. One miracle after another. Part of those miracles were all of the doctors and nurses, family and friends that God had put into my life that were loving, and patient with me. The process of having a stroke, being paralyzed, having brain surgery, and following that up with more recovery is not for the faint of heart. Nor was it easy for those who suffered alongside me.
More recently I celebrated yet another Christmas season, again spent at my grandmother’s house. All our family Christmases from as far back as I can recall have been spent there, but the last year or so made this Christmas a little different. My grandmother recently turned 90, and along with that we have begun to see a change in her mental state. Often when we go to ask Grandma a question, she doesn’t remember, or she can’t recall something that just happened. But when we ask about memories in the past, she can often recall stories of growing up or the names of people from she once knew.
The fact that she struggles to remember is not her fault. It’s part of living this life in a broken world. As we get older our minds begin to lose the sharpness and ability to recall certain things. And it is in those times when the people around us help to see us through. Just like when I had my stroke, even now my grandmother has people around her who love her, and who are patient with her. Whether it be the infinite number of calls my mom places to my Grandma each day to make sure she eats, or takes her medicine, or this or that…to her going over and checking in on her and grocery shopping for her on Thursdays; my family has stepped up to show Grandma love.
When We Forget
Forgetfulness and memory loss don’t just happen as we age or when we have medical emergencies. The truth is that because we live in this fallen world, we will continue to see the signs of the curse until Jesus returns to wipe away every tear and restore all of which is broken, once and for all. Forgetfulness happens daily; it happens to you and me when we sin. The truth is that in those moments we are forgetting the truth of the gospel. And when we forget, because it’s going to happen, who do we have around us to see us through? At New City we often talk about Gospel Fluency (speaking the Gospel into the every-day stuff of life), and we talk about living together as a family of missionary servants, disciples making disciples.
We live together and do life with one another in missional communities because the people that we have around us matter. As a family, as missionaries, and as servants, we must learn to love one another. We must work to be patient with one another. We must seek to help each other remember the Gospel when we are quick to forget. One of my favorite passages brings me comfort, and it comes from the words of the Apostle Paul where he says in Ephesians 4:1-3:
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and kindness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Paul uses these words to speak of the necessity of having unity in the body of Christ, but I believe it is also fitting for those times when we forget. When our hearts and minds are not aligned with one another and we fail to see the glory of the Gospel. Paul goes on in chapter 4 to state that we are to speak the truth in love with one another (4:15), meaning that we speak words of truth from God’s word…and this is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 also speaks of love being patient, and kind and helping to rejoice in truth.
Forgetfulness and memory loss are difficult to go through. It can be frustrating for those it is happening to, and it can be painful as well for those who love someone going through it. My hope is that this year, starting now, we would be a people who help our fellow brothers and sisters, and even non-believers remember. That we would show love and patience above all else, and that the Holy Spirit would lead us to remembrance of all that God has done, and has promised that He will do.