God Knew I Needed Family
A few nights ago my wife and I were reflecting on our Missional Community ("MC") - the small group of men and women from New City Church that we host on Wednesday nights in our home. God has brought together a diverse group - some from "church families", some with deep distrust of organized religion, some with very difficult childhoods and family situations, some with hard stories from their early adult lives, some in college, some retired, and most somewhere in between. At face value this group would not appear to have much in common. And yet, somehow, while we are "doing life together", God is drawing us closer as family.
Everyone contributes to the meal, and we start the evening dining on paper plates throughout the house. The kids play outside, shooting hoops, climbing, chasing cats, making up games. After the meal we gather for prayer, sometimes singing, sometimes with someone sharing their story, and always ending with discussion about the sermon from Sunday.
During the story-telling an interesting thing always happens - people start to open up about their struggles. One time it was a young man sharing about his struggle with an addiction. Another time it was a young lady sharing about a life-threatening trial she faced. My wife and I have shared about our broken road, the hardships we brought on ourselves early in our marriage. In each story, it is clear to see that we are the broken, and God is the Faithful Redeemer. And every time, at least one person, usually more, connects with the story in a deep way. God uses our struggles to awaken things in each other, to point to His goodness, and to help us let down our guards a bit further.
Whoever leads the sermon discussion first ensures that everyone understands the passage and main point that was covered on Sunday. Then the discussion moves to application - how does this help us to better know who God is, and what He has done? How does that help us better know who we are, and how all of this should impact our lives? The temptation exists to give "head answers", but we always challenge one another to go deeper and get to the heart - do I really live as if I believe what I say I believe?
In order to go even deeper in discipling one another, some of the men and some of the women have formed "DNA groups" (discipleship groups) of 3-4 people each. These groups also meet weekly, reading scripture and practicing together how to understand and apply it. They share their deeper struggles and greater life challenges, they pray for one another, and they hold each other accountable. If someone has a struggle they are not comfortable sharing at a larger MC gathering, they can share in this smaller group. Sadly, many people in the world today do not feel that they can share their deepest burdens with anyone in their lives. These DNA groups provide a couple of other people for each of us to do just that, to embrace transparency and vulnerability. All with the shared purpose of growing in our spiritual journeys.
It takes effort to know others well enough that we can care for them, and to be known well enough that we can be cared for. One young lady in our MC needed transportation, so she borrowed our car for a few days until she had one of her own. And then a couple of weeks later we were without a car, and that same young lady was offering to drive us where we needed to go. Others in our group were offering to help also. It was humbling, and beautiful!
I am known well enough that others can see when I’m down. I can’t pass off the “I’m good” answer without a follow up. I am known, and I am loved, and for that I am incredibly grateful.
When my wife and I started leading an MC I was hoping and expecting that God would use us to encourage and disciple others. That He would use our gifts to bless others. But the reality that we have experienced in the time we have spent leading the MC is that this seemingly disconnected group of individuals has loved, cared for, and discipled us more that we could have imagined. Despite our faults and weaknesses, we truly are family in Christ.
My encouragement to you -
If you are currently a part of an MC, jump in even more deeply. Do the work to know others and to be known. Form a DNA group if you don’t have one (https://www.newcitychurches.org/dna-groups-2). Invite others in to what God has given you.
If you do not have something like this in your life, give it a try. I promise that you will not regret it! May God give to you exactly what you need, family in Christ.
For more information on our MCs: