But I Did Everything Right
by Amanda Christopher
Recently, I heard someone express disappointment that her adult children didn’t seem to have a desire to walk with the Lord. She shared that she believed she had done everything she could to lead them into a life with Jesus, but it didn’t seem to matter. She was clearly very burdened by this, and I felt a lot of compassion for her, especially thinking how I’d feel if it were my kids in fifteen years or so.
Later, I was talking to a friend who shared some discouragement and frustration at work. He felt like he was putting time and effort into certain things but wasn’t getting the response he wanted. His efforts didn’t seem to be appreciated, and he is often asking the question, “Why do I even try?”
I believe this is a normal human tendency. We think if we do all the things right, we will get the desired outcome. We want things like our children’s salvation to be something we can control. We want life and all the circumstances in it to be formulaic, predictable. We want guarantees that if we do our part, we will get whatever result we think is best.
Some of life is that way. (Algebra for example- do all the math right, and you WILL solve for x.) But much of it is not. The list of things we cannot control is FAR longer than the list of things we can. But there is good news: God doesn’t expect you to control the things you can’t.
My response in those conversations I mentioned earlier was to remind both of them what our part is in those situations: faithfulness, obedience, and trusting God with the outcome.
I cannot control what other people do. I cannot control what they think of me or how they respond. I cannot save anyone. I cannot share the gospel in a convincing enough way that someone will hear and believe. I cannot make people do what I think they should do. I can’t even know whether what I think they should do is right or best!
What can I do?
I can be faithful.
I can be faithful to seek God, to seek to understand His will and know His heart.
I can be faithful to pray, for myself and for others.
I can be faithful to work hard at whatever ministry He has called me to do.
I can obey.
I can ask God what He wants me to do, be attentive to the Spirit, and follow his leading.
I can submit my mind, will, emotions, and life to Jesus and what God has commanded in Scripture.
I can pursue living in light of the gospel and allowing it to shape how I act and respond, especially when things don’t go my way.
Finally, I can trust God to do the things only He can do. Only He can save. Only He can change a person’s heart, convict of sin, and bring them to repentance. Only He can sanctify and bring about a truly transformed life. And He is the only one who knows fully what is best and who is worthy of all our trust.
So if you’re carrying around the weight of failure because something hasn’t gone like you thought it would, I hope that you will give that burden to the Lord and find rest and peace in knowing that what He has required of you has already been accomplished in what Jesus has done. Or if you’re angry at God because you feel like He hasn’t held up His end of things, I hope you will confess that to Him and begin to trust that He is not only sovereign, but He is also good.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30