A Family That Leaves No One Out
by Larry Purvis
When my wife became pregnant with our second daughter, we began discussing the importance of inclusion in parenting. The last thing that Yesenia and I wanted for our youngest daughter, Catalina, was for her to feel inferior to our eldest child, Grace. So, we made a point of not leaving her out once she was born and of age because she needed to know that she was an equally loved, valued, and accepted family member.
The Importance of Inclusion in the Church
Recently, I've been challenged to take that same careful and loving mindset and apply it to the church. In the same way that I want Catalina to feel included and involved in everything Grace is doing, I should also want those within my local church to feel included as well.
As a Christian, I carry the hope that Jesus is always with me and will never leave nor forsake me. I know that by grace through faith in His name, I am no longer a stranger and foreigner but a fellow citizen with the saints and members of the household of God.
But this isn't just true of me. It's true of everyone who repents and puts their trust in Jesus. Yet, for some, it doesn't always feel this way, at least in practice within the church.
For some, the Christian life is an anxious and lonely one. Their "church" experiences, family realities, or circumstances don't necessarily reflect what is true of them in Jesus. Most of the time, they feel like outcasts -- like they are on the outside looking in among us, even when that may not be the case.
This should concern us, but we are not left without biblical guidance here. In 1st Corinthians, chapter 12, the Apostle Paul talks about the importance of inclusion. He says that just as our bodies have many members, so too does the church. Each member in the church has a different function, but we are all essential for the proper functioning of the body. In other words, we need each other, and we can’t function properly without each other. In Paul’s view, the church should not consist of just one or two members grouped up together without concern for the other members. No. If one member suffers, all members suffer. And if one member is honored, all members rejoice because, ultimately, what affects one affects all.
As a church, we need to be a people who are actively fostering an environment where this is a reality -- where the lonely, the lost, and the forgotten among us are pursued, cared for, and valued. The church ought to be a people who are willing to leave the familiar for the hard places where people are depressed and hurting and searching for community and support.
I think sometimes we tend to treat the church as if it were some pick-up basketball game where the favorites get to play and the less skilled or recognized have to sit out. That’s not what the church has been made to be, and it doesn’t have to be this way. No one should be sitting alone on the sidelines because we all a part of Jesus’ body.
Don't Take the Path of Least Resistance
Of course, inclusion isn't always easy. It's human nature to want to stick with what you know and what is comfortable. It is common for people to gravitate toward others with similar backgrounds, interests, or stages in life.
This, however, can unintentionally create a cliquish culture within the church. As a result, people can begin to feel like they don't belong, aren't useful, or fit in. This can cause people to become disengaged and disconnected, and can hurt the overall growth and mission of the church.
But this isn't the will of God for His Church.
God did not send His son into the world to create cliques; He sent Him into the world to unite a diverse group of people from every nation, tribe, and tongue. Through His life, death, and resurrection, Jesus has torn down the divisive walls of sinful humanity and created one new man. In Him, there is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free - we are all one family. This is the transformative power of the gospel. It levels the playing field, making us all equal before God. And it's this equality that should mark the church and lead those who believe to leave no one out because we are family, no matter our differences.
Now, I know that following the path of least resistance is easy. I know that some of us are introverted and don't necessarily feel gifted as gatherers. I know inviting others into our circle is less than ideal. And I know that's scary. It feels good when we don't have to stretch ourselves, and it's relieving when we don't have to put in any extra effort. But Jesus calls us to something different. He calls us to sacrifice our comfort and do what is uncomfortable - remembering all He has sacrificed for us. He took up the cross, sacrificing His comfort, safety, and life for our sake. He left the ninety-nine to make room for you and me. Yes, leaving no one out requires us to put ourselves out there. Still, when we consider how Jesus put Himself out there for us, we are then enabled, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to step out by faith and with joy.
How do we include others?
So, the question is, how do we cultivate an environment where everyone within the church, even visitors, feel like they belong?
One of the ways that we accomplish this at New City Church Macon is through our Missional Communities. For people to feel like they belong, they need to feel connected — not just to the church as a whole but also to the people within it. Our Missional Communities are smaller, more intimate gatherings made up of people who are learning to follow Jesus together in a way that renews their neighborhood and city. In these communities, God's sacrificial love is expressed in tangible ways as we:
Comfort one another (2 Cor. 13:11)
Agree with one another (2 Cor. 12:11)
Live in peace with one another (2 Cor. 13:11)
Greet one another (2 Cor. 13:11)
Bear one another's burdens -- which points to confronting sin and being burdened for the sinful brother (Gal. 6:2)
Bear with one another (Eph. 4:2)
Encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11)
Build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11)
Refrain from grumbling against one another (Jas. 5:9)
Refrain from speaking evil against one another (Jas. 4:11)
Our Missional Communities strive to be places where we include one another and bring the gospel to bear on those struggles and pains each of us has to deal with. We serve each other in our areas of need as Jesus has served us, whether that's simply through babysitting or helping someone move. We celebrate together. We mourn together. We do it all, growing in the gospel together without leaving anyone out.
If you haven't joined a Missional Community, I strongly encourage you to do so. It's one of the best ways to get plugged into a group of people who will do life with you. For more information on how to get involved in a Missional Community, click here.
If you are already in a Missional Community, here are just a few ways that you can help make sure that no one feels left out:
1. Pray for opportunities to serve those who are not yet part of the group.
2. Don’t just group up with your friends. Get out of your comfort zone.
3. Develop an eye for those who seem isolated, disconnected, or disengaged.
4. Try to get to know them as much as possible, even if you feel you may not have too much in common with them.
5. Invite them into your daily rhythm. If you drink coffee, invite them out with you. If you like sports, invite them to watch a game with you.
6. Be patient as they open up. It may take some time for them to feel comfortable enough to share their story with you.
7. Don't give up on them — keep pursuing them even if they initially seem uninterested.
These are just a few suggestions, but I'm sure you can think of many more. The point is, when we intentionally include others, we are living in out our identity as a family and showing the world that we truly are Jesus’ disciples.
So, what will you do today to include someone else?